A final note on the SPY calendar spread I placed two weeks ago. With the stock running up to over $122, it got quite far from the 115 strike I had selected. As you may recall, I sold over half my positions and recovered all of my original investment and was waiting to see how much extra I would earn from selling the balance last Friday. I picked up only $.40 ($200 on my original investment of $1800, so it wasn’t entirely a bad day).
This week I would like to share some humorous market definitions.
If the market knocks you down, try laughing instead of crying -
New Market Definitions:
CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO– Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.
OUT OF THE MONEY – When your checking account’s overdraft hits bottom.
CASH FLOW– The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.